Negative self-talk hurts you, and positive self-talk (also known as “affirmations”) help you.
This is obvious and non-intuitive. It’s non-intuitive because most people default to abuse when they are disappointed by someone’s behavior, especially when that someone is themselves. When someone does something we don’t like, we get upset, and when we get upset, we tend not to be nice.
It really is that simple. We try hard and sometimes (hopefully) succeed at being less abusive over time, but it doesn’t come easy.
And the easiest person to abuse is the person you can abuse secretly, or even with the support of the people around you.
“He’s so hard on himself.”
Is that intended as an insult? Hardly.
If our society has taught us anything, it’s that the people with determination and grit are the ones who succeed, and deserve happiness. And no one is harder on those people than themselves.
People who sustain abusive relationships with themselves don’t turn out well. They might succeed in the short term, but it will come at a heavy cost.
The real secret to success and happiness is unlearning self-abuse.
Think of it this way: Who gave you the right to abuse yourself?
You deserve all the respect and kindness you’d give to anyone else. Don’t let yourself get away with negative self talk.